Motherhood & Me

Is that me?

Is that me, Amanda? Wife and mother. This was always my dream so why is it hard to believe that it has come true? I often look at my kids and husband, still amazed they are mine. If you would have asked me when I was 10, 16, 18, 21, where I wanted to be when I was 28 it would be exactly where I am right now. Yet, almost daily, I’m still shocked by this.

My son is two and half years old and my daughter is seven months. They were both planned (Richie was more of a  ‘planned surprise’) and very much-anticipated. Yet, my mind will go off and wander. “Where did the last 28 years go? Was I really pregnant with you and did you really come out of my vagina? How are you pushing 3?  How am I responsible for not one, but TWO tiny humans? How the hell do I slow down time?”

And wife… a title I’m so proud of, but still learning to navigate. I feel that for me, motherhood is kind of instinctual. With marriage its like I know the kind of wife I want to be, but have a hard time being her. Somehow, my husband still loves and chooses me, as I do him.

Motherhood and marriage are HARD. Its work. Lots of hard work. It’s so much better than I expected, but not what I expected at all. I’m exactly where I want to be but kind of confused at how I got here. I can see the bigger picture through the twists and turns of the future and Im just trying not to ‘f it all up‘ in the process of getting there.

And that’s why I chose to start this blog. Hugs and thanks for making it this far.

♥ Amanda

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