Motherhood & Me

The first 6 months

I’m just going to cut to the chase, the first six months with two babies was freaking HARD (for me at least). I knew it was going to be a big change and tough at times but Lordy I wasnt prepared!! Sure we had all the essentials and then some, but I swear, if I didn’t dye my hair my whole head would be grey.

Richie was 22 months when Lydia was born and everything was perfect. She was born in April and I was beyond thrilled to have my baby girl. It all started out great, and to be honest the first two months were a breeze (with the exception of some breastfeeding issues we had to work through).

I want to say that I know it could be worse, it can always be worse. Around 2 months we had to make some major life changes and close our family business.  I think the stress that put on my husband and I affected not only us, but our daughter as well. Could you imagine having a 2-year-old and a 2 month old and both parents being without jobs? It was terrifying.

Right around that time was when I started to notice the changes in Lydia and looking back, myself. She stopped sleeping and spent a lot of her day crying and I spent a lot of my day crying. I spent the next 4 months of my life not sleeping. She would hardly nap for me, and at night I was seeing every hour on the clock, every night. Any parent that has ever been truly sleep deprived knows the toll that this can take on your body, marriage/relationship, health and almost every other aspect of your life. Even my milk supply suffered. I went from pumping 8oz in a session to  4oz… IF I was lucky (thankfully we pulled through and I’m still nursing her). One day my husband asked where all the bruises were from that seemed to mysteriously pop up on my body, and at the time I had no clue. A few days later I was walking down the hall and cut the corner too short and ran into the wall and then it hit me, my bruises were from constantly running into walls… that’s how tired I was.

Thank goodness my son wasn’t too affected by his baby sister. He really didn’t pay too much attention to her until she was around 4 months old, whenhe finally realized she’s here to stay. But finding the time to give him the attention he was craving was hard. We spent A LOT of time snuggled up watching movies together over the shrieking cries of my newborn. I was in survival mode and didn’t give a rats patootie about screen time. One thing that did help me feel like a half decent mom was always giving him his night-time bath and reading him a story before bed. It was our special time that I looked forward to even after being dead tired from the day.

For some reason it never occurred to me that I would have to learn how to be a mom again. Just like adults and children are different, babies are too. I just assumed that what had worked for my son would work for my daughter, and that was one of the biggest misconceptions I had as a parent.

7 months in and things are better. I’m sorry if my post scared anyone but that was my reality. And like I said, I think the root of it was stemming from being unemployed and the heartache of having to close our business, sleep deprevation and being a new SAHM.  My husband landed a good job and look took alot of weight off of our shoulders.

Life can be hard at time’s but it goes on! Mothers are tough as hell. I don’t know how we do it but we do. If you’re expecting or planning on having your second baby, you’ll be ok. You’ll power through just like you did with your first and eventually you will find your groove. Hang in there! Mothers are superheroes!

♥ Amanda

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