Motherhood & Me

57 hours of labor…

Yup, you read that correctly… I was in labor for 57 looooong hours. From 12:00 am Wednesday, June 17th 2015 to 9:05 am, Friday, June 19th. I can retrace almost every hour of the whole thing so vividly in my mind. And although my labor was longer than most, it was worth every. single. second. So I guess we’ll begin with my 40 week check-up on Monday, June 16th.

Around 3pm my husband and I were off to the doctors and I was soooooooooo excited. I had this feeling in my stomach that today would be the day or at least I was praying it would be (every woman who makes it to 40 weeks feels like that, right?) I went into my appointment only to find out that I was a fingertip dilated. You could say it felt like my little heart shattered into a million pieces and I wanted to murder anyone who said “babies come when they are ready.”  My husband and I headed home and I  was moody with him for the rest of the night. Obviously it was his fault the baby didn’t want to come, right? (thats an irrational, hormonal pregnant woman for ya)

The next day (Tuesday) we had dinner plans with family and I was excited to get out of the house. It was my due date and all I could think about was “how am I going to get this baby out?  How many times do I need to walk and up and down the stairs? Bounce on my ball? Do lounges until my water breaks?!?!!”… it never happened. However, (tmi) around 5pm when I went to the bathroom and wiped I noticed there was blood on the toilet paper and when I looked in the toilet, there it was…my bloody show! I literally ran outside, jumping up and down, yelling to my husband that I was going to go into labor. I jumped in the shower, shaved and made sure I was ready to go! We headed off to the restaurant and I was waiting for any sign’s of contractions to start but nothing.

After dinner my husband and I stopped by Best Buy and the Grocery store. At some point during our shopping I started to feel sick (  like I was going to have diarrhea and I became very nauseas) I thought for sure I had gotten food poisoning. For some reason it never really hit me that this was a sign of impending labor. We went home and I continued to feel worse, so I  hopped (or should I say plopped) into bed by 9 pm and passed out.

12:00 am (Wednesday) on the dot,  I was woken up by my first of many contractions. They didn’t necessarily hurt at this point but every time one came, I felt like I needed to get out of bed. They were coming around 15 minutes apart. After 3 hours of this I just got out of bed and went into the living room as my husband laid there, sleeping so peacefully (eye roll). I decided to call the on call doctor and he just repeated to me what I’ve been hearing for the past month, “don’t come until they are 5 minutes apart and lasting a minute.” UGGGH.

After 5 more hours of contractions I couldn’t take it anymore. I was an anxious mess, so my husband and I decided we would drive to the hospital  around 8 am. The nurses hooked me up to monitors and I was so excited to hear the progress I had made… only to hear “ehhh, you’re a fingertip to a cm dilated.  Were going to send you home.” Tears filled up in my eyes and I listened to the doctor as he proceeded to say “now, I don’t know if these contractions are going to stop for you, I may see you back here in an hour or we may see you in a few days, but go home and rest.” REST, ha…ok!

So, we went home. My husband went to get his oil changed and I just sat there basically feeling sorry for myself as I had one contraction after the other. All day this continued and over time they did start to get closer together. By midnight they were probably 10-12 minutes apart.I stayed up that whole night, cleaned the floors and bounced around on my stability ball.

Thursday morning I was STILL having contractions but only about 9-10 minutes apart. My husband went to work and I stayed home doing lunges while I pulled weeds. Around 3 pm I noticed the contractions were becoming more painful. I had to stop and wait for them to finish and at that point they were 7ish minutes apart. My husband was checking in on me all day and we decided he should probably head home from work. We went on a walk (around 6 pm) and as we were walking I had to stop several times. The contractions were coming 5-6 minutes apart, and harder to walk and talk through.

We went back home and I bounced on my stability  ball for an hour. Maybe you’re thinking  “why aren’t you going to the hospital?” In short,  I didn’t want to be sent home again. I needed to be sure it was the real deal and honestly  by that point, I was having contractions for so long that it was almost like I was getting used to them.

It was 8pm (Thursday) when we decided we would head to the hospital. Contractions still coming strong and only picking up in intensity. When we arrived (like the idiots we are) we parked in the wrong entrance and were locked out. I look back at this now and just laugh. We were so nervous and forgot EVERYTHING we were told to do if I went into labor after hours. We were standing outside the hospital (bickering with each other) and my husband decided to call and see if someone would let us in. I remember the receptionist asking “do you have a wheel chair” and him snapping back at her annoyed and angry, saying “NO! I don’t have wheel chair, where am I supposed to get a wheel chair? WERE LOCKED OUT,” it was sh*t show. We headed back to the car ( and did I mention that I insisted we park far away so I could get a little more walking in?) and pulled around to the Emergency entrance.

Finally around 8:45pm we were in the hospital and I was being hooked up to monitors. The nurse checked my cervix and I was 8cm!! I looked at my husband and started crying…ugly crying and thinking to myself “this baby is about to come,” but I was wrong again. I received my epidural and a few popsicle’s (that I instantly threw up) and was finally able to “relax.”

Our sons heart rate kept dropping with every contraction. I would roll over from one side to the other each time, and eventually his heart rate would go back up. At this point I was using an oxygen mask and I remember feeling so scared and nervous. At one point I asked to have the monitors turned down because I couldn’t stand to hear his heart rate drop anymore. Hearing my unborn child’s heart beat drop down so low (into the 30’s) was worse than any contraction. Unfortunately it was my experience for all 12 hours of labor in the hospital.

Around 12 am the doctor came in to break my water, hoping it would help the process move along ( I was still at 8cm). Around 6am I was given Pitocin. I was becoming very frustrated, scared, feeling defeated, and not to mention mentally and psychically EXHAUSTED. I slept maybe 3 hours since that first contraction started and I was getting nervous that I wouldn’t have the energy to push.

Fast forward to 8 am I was finallyfinally at 9cm, almost 10cm but my epidural was wearing off. My nurse (a new since the shift’s had changed)  had me do a practice push and insisted I was good to start pushing, so I did. 45 minutes into pushing and the pressure started becoming extremely intense and I looked at my husband and said “I can’t do this.” He looked down and ecouraged me that I was doing great, I responded with “stop talking”.. such a nice wife.

A few “oh shit, shit, shit, ow ow ow’s” (the only time I really talked during pushing) later my son arrived. Unfortunately, I hardly remember it. I was so out of it. I wished him “happy birthday” and that’s all I really remember. We had sweet snuggles  but its all kind of a blur. I remember telling my husband “I need a Gatorade, NOW!!” more than the first few minutes with my son.  I guess thats what 57 hours of labor and 1 hour of hard pushing will do to you.

(I’m going to share some pictures that I wish were like the ones you see on Instagram of moms looking gorgeous after labor, however that just wasn’t the case the for me.)

The next day I felt like I got hit by a bus. EVERY SINGLE muscle in my body hurt from pushing. I could hardly lift my arms (assuming it was from gripping the rails of the bed so hard).  I never realized how much energy goes into pushing. I never thought my arms would have been sore. I think it took me around 2 week to feel like I recovered from labor.

If you made it this far, I apologize if I scared you. And if it’s any consolation, the labor and birth of daughter was a totally different experience and actually an enjoyable one.

With all that being said, I would relive every single second and contraction for my son. Regardless if you have a vaginal delivery or c-section, mothers are magic. Our bodies are incredible and we are so strong!

And if I am being honest, labor and delivery is the easy part…its what comes after that is hard.

Thanks for reading,

♥ Amanda

 

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