Motherhood & Me

Selfish resolutions

2018 is going to be the year of me. I’m choosing to be a little selfish this year and I am trying my best to not feel guilty about it.  It feels like 2017 sucked the life out of me. Mayyybe I’m being slightly dramatic saying that, but it did take its toll on me.  Between closing our business, Lydia having serious sleep issues, adjusting to my new role as mom of two/ sahm, and some private family matters, there was a lot going on. However, there was one saving grace of 2017 and that was the birth of my daughter.

I am excited to put this past year behind me, move forward, and grow from it. I have unwillingly been awakened and have come to realize that I need to invest more time into my own well being.  I don’t need to be perfect but there are some reasonable and necessary  lifestyle changes that I can make to help be the best version of myself.

So for 2017 I have some goals / resolutions I would like to achieve

First –  I NEED to chill out! This is the most vital of my resolutions.  When we closed the restaurant in June, I realized my stress and anxiety can be out of control. Not only does it affect me but it has an impact on my husband and children as well. Sort of like a mini plague within our family ( I feel like I’m being slightly dramatic…again… but it’s the only synonym I could think of at the moment).  The problem is I don’t even know where to start when it comes to managing my stress and anxiety.For as long as I can remember I have been this way and I am over it. My plan is to try mediation, or exercise. I’m also thinking about picking up scrapbooking as a hobby. How do you manage anxiety and stressful times? If you have any suggestion’s or tips on how to manage I would lovingly and openly like to hear them.

This one makes me feel kind of guilty BUT I would like to spend a weekend away from my husband and kids. eeeeeeekkk! It feels so mean to say and admit that, but I am in serious need of a night away! Ideally I would like to get away with my sister for a weekend because I can just be myself with her, relax and we just laugh and laugh for hours. I honestly wouldn’t care if it was to a hotel 20 minutes from home or a weekend trip to Atlantic City (leaning towards the latter of the two) , but it would be really good for me. I give sooo much of myself to my kids and husband, that it can be exhausting and I find myself feeling a disconnect from myself.  I don’t want, in any way,  to make it seem like I am ungrateful for the things that I have been blessed with, BUT for my own sanity, a weekend reboot would be amazing is all I’m saying.

Thirdly,  – I need to eat more fruits and veggies and be more active! I am by no means going to become a vegetarian, but here is what I’m thinking – 2 days out of the week will be totally meatless (Mondays and Thursdays) and my meals the other days will be 60% fruits and veggies and mostly clean. Here’s why this one is selfish… if my husband doesn’t like what I’m making for dinner, OR the foods I’m buying, he’ll have to make his own dinner and buy his own snacks (he is always super easy-going about whatever I cook, but I can see the healthy meals getting old for him FAST).  As far as working out, I won’t be participating in any crazy fitness routines. Im just going to do what feels right. Whether that means chasing my kids around the yard,  or watching a barre class on you-tube. Im going to do what feels good for me that day.  I’ will also be doing updates on my progress so if you’re interested feel free to follow along!

Lastly – I NEED to invest in some good bras. I’ve had 2 kids in less than two years, I’ve been breastfeeding my daughter for 9 months and my boobs just aren’t what they used to be (not to come across like they were ever anything spectacular, but ya know).  All I wear now ( if I’m actually wearing a bra) are worn out, homely looking nursing bras that offer little to no support and come in 3 three colors, beige, black and light pink. It’s actually so bad that when I type things like this, I think to myself, “when did I become such a mom”. This year I am going to give myself and my boobs the gift of a nice, supportive, and most importantly, a sexy bra!

And there ya have it! 4 resolutions highlighting how desperate I am for a jooshing. It’s going to be hard! I never focus on me, and as I type this I am repeating to myself “don’t feel guilty”.  I’ll get there though and I am praying that in a year, I’m looking back thinking, “2018 was really incredible. How can 2019 top it?” So, to help me get by my motto this year will be…

“If mama a’int happy, a’int nobody happy”.

This year is for Mama

♥ Amanda

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