It starts when you’re pregnant, the worry, the questioning, the over analyzing EVERY. SINGLE. THING. and it doesn’t stop. It’s all apart of becoming a mother.
Good mom’s aren’t perfect, let’s just get that straight.
Good moms yell. Good moms discipline their children. Good moms question themselves. Good moms cry. Good mom’s put their kids to bed early because they just want quiet. Good mom’s take a night away from their family. Good moms eat French fries and good moms go on 3 day juice cleanses. Good moms formula feed and good moms breast feed. Good mom’s cloth diaper and good moms use disposable. Good moms feel guilt. Good moms drive Mercedes and good moms drive 1999 Chevy Cavaliers ( my first car, that’s why it stuck out to me haha.) Good moms buy brand new and good moms shop consignment. Good moms don’t always give 100%.
I can go on and on and on. At some point ( probably more times than you can count) you’re going to question if you’re a good mom. The answer is probably going to be, YES! You don’t just have a baby and become a perfect mother (like how the magazines or that mom on Instagram like’s to portray.) You don’t have a 2, 6, 10, 20-year-old and become a perfect mother. One, because there’s NO SUCH THING , and two, you’re a constant work in progress.
I read a quote the other day that said something along the lines of “patience is what a mother has when she’s in public.” I laughed and thought “how true.” It made me feel good though, like “YES! I’m not alone. Other moms lose their shit sometimes too.” As a mother of 2 young babies my patience is tested daily, no… hourly, no…. by the minute some days (if we’re being honest!) Sometimes I handle it with grace, sometimes I hide and sometimes I yell. I hate when I yell, but it happens and that’s when I need to put myself in a “time out.”
Be easy on yourself. If you have a bad day, try to be better the next day. Maybe Make bed time a little extra special on those tough days. Try and pinpoint what “triggers” you. For example: On nights I don’t get a lot of sleep, I just know my patience will be super thin the next day. So, I wake up, make a coffee and drink it ALONE in the kitchen. Sometimes this requires the TV to be a baby sitter, but it’s better for everyone in the long run. 15 minutes to myself in the morning can really set the tone for the day.
Bad days don’t define what kind of mothers we are. Admitting you’re struggling doesn’t define what kind of mother you are. Our kids temper tantrums don’t define what kind of mother’s we are. The mom you follow on Instagram, the one who seems to have it all together, she loses her cool and struggles too. Trust your body, mind and intuition. If it’s telling you to step up, do it! If it’s telling you step back, and give yourself some space, DO IT!
Good moms question themselves, bad moms just don’t give a crap. So, if you’re questioning if you’re a good mom, or you’re trying to be a better mom, kuddos to you! You’ll never be perfect but at least you’re trying.